


You're Gonna Have a Sexy Time

by PrettyinInk



Series: Cracktale (my new Undertale AU) [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, F/M, I have an immature sense of humor, Papyrus briefly pops in at the end, Smut, so here ya go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 04:57:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20615354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyinInk/pseuds/PrettyinInk
Summary: Love. Sex. Love and sex. Together as one.You, the Reader, are about to achieve your dream. Screwing a sack of bones. It is very sexy and fun. But as all people who have had sex with skeletons would know, there is one crucial issue...





	You're Gonna Have a Sexy Time

**Author's Note:**

> ;)

You sashay into Sans' room, your bosom heaving and ripping through your shirt as if you are a horny Hulk. He lays sleeping as usual, because that is all he does. Even in his slumber, he lays seductively, his ketchup-stained shirt riding up to his ribs. Never have you seen sexier bones. They are short and stubby, but are very bony-looking and just what you have always wanted in a man. That is, a strong, brooding man who looks like a corpse, but acts like an angsty teenager even though he is an adult. 

You feel your coochie grow wet like a river. "Ohhhh!" You cry out. "SANS UNDERTALE!"

Sans Undertail himself wakes up. His eye-sockets are hungry for your vagina juices. He has sensed the sex is coming, and he wants it. "Y/N!" he yowls. "I've got a massive boner with your name on it!" 

"akdljfklasjfldas," You say wisely, for what else is there to say when you are about to fuck Sans? Nothing that is what. "Take me," you intone. 

Sans leaps to his feet, which are not clad in his fluffy slippers, and are very nice to look at. You admire him. Sans is so great, you think you have just developed a foot fetish. You kind of want to worship his toes, and suckle at them like you would a tit. Before you can do anything though, Sans yanks you to him using the power of love (and blue magic). You squeak, your pussy growing wetter by the second. Already, you feel yourself grow close to the brink... But no! You must resist! You have not even kissed the Snas yet! 

So there you are, in Sans' arms. There's a lot of sharp, pointy edges, but that's okay because you like pain and are a bit of a kinky motherfucker. Sans holds you delicately, but boldly, gazing deep into your eyes. Suddenly, he throws you onto the bed! "Y/N," he whispers, climbing atop you, eyes dark with lust. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen!" 

"I know," you reply, your violet eyes shining with tears of joy. You really are. In fact, your parents nearly named you _Mary Sue_, before settling on Y/N. 

"I'm so glad you walked into my room, and my life, just a minute ago." He suddenly howls. "I've been bonely for so long! Y/N! TAKE AWAY THE PAIN!"

"YESSSSSSSS!" You wail. With that, Sanz clacks at your mouth with his own. He tastes like ketchup and sadness, but it hurts so _good!!!! AHHHHHHH!_ You shriek like a dying squirrel, flopping about. You can't hold out much longer! And it has only been like two seconds of teeth-clacking! By Toby Fox himself! Is this heaven??? IS IT???

You blurp out, "OYOYOYOY! Gimme that skele-dick!" Sans screams back a pun or ten. You don't know for certain what is going on, but you have never been so enraptured before. And it is time to consummate your love. 

This is it. The moment you lose your virginity, but you just know that you will be a natural at the sex, just like you are a natural at everything else. Sanssa rips off your shirt, and your big boobs sway and swiggle. He rips off your pants, and your clit lips are swollen and smacking hungrily. Your clothes are in tatters. It doesn't matter. Every inch of you is ready for the revelation that is Your LORD AND SAVIOR SNASSEN UNDERLUST. Oh wait, wrong AU. SNASSTA SANSTALE. That's better. Anyways, you are so ready for this life-changing event. 

Already anticipating the skele-dick, you wail and squeal as though you are a sexy, stuck hog. Sans howls with you. Together, you shriek with horniness as one. Your boobs wiggle faster. Sanz breathes harder and harder. 

You can't take it anymore. "SANNNNNNNNSSSSS FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEE!"

And Sans tears off his pants, his beautiful bones rippling. You look down, eager to see your god's humongous dingaling... and begin to sob. 

Sans immediately grows concerned... "Y/N.. why are you having a bad time now?"

You cry harder. Is your love cursed, doomed? It seems as though it is... You bury your face in Sans' sexy pubic region, licking frantically. He moans, but in both confusion and pleasure. Nothing happens... Where is ittttt?????????????????????????????????

"WHERE'S YOUR DING-DONG, SANS?" You scream with the horror. "WHERE IS IT??????? WHERRRREEEEEEEE ISSSSSSS ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT???????" 

Sans looks down. "MY BINGBONG IS RIGHT THERE," he screams back in confusion and hurt. You cry harder. Your pussy cries with you. There is a puddle in Sans' bed now. You are swimming in your own tears and cum. You might even drown before the night is out. 

For it seems alas, that Sans is sans a penis... And he does not believe it himself. If your love is to last, you must break him free of this delusion. "Sans,,," you murmur, grabbing at his bony hand delicately. "Nothing is there..." Your heart is breaking. "Perhaps you are simply remembering a ghost of penis past..." 

Ness looks at you, eye-sockets empty and hollow... "Y/N, what are you saying?" So, tears falling faster and faster from your purple eyes, you make him touch his own crotch. Sans the Ness's eyes widen, feeling the nothing that is there... This is it... now he knows...

A single tear falls from his eye. He slobbers with madness, now understanding his need for sex will never be sated. You hold him, comfortingly, lovingly, but the damage is done... You feel him fading...

Sans dies in your arms. Although you knew this was coming, you scream. "SAAANNNNSSS""" You claw frantically at his dust, smell his t-shirt relentlessly, remember the good times. Those are all over now. You are alone once again, a virgin forevermore, for who could compare to the Sans? No one... That's who.

You don't know how long you lay there, but when you look at the clock it says like five minutes have passed since you first walked into Sans' room. Your tears are scattered about the room. The cum that has spurted from your unsatisfied pussy is all across the walls. You want to die. 

Suddenly, there is Papaya, Sans's dumb, irrelevant brother. He has no personality traits except the stupid and the spaghetti. "DO YOU WANT DA SPAGHET?" he shrieks, brandishing a plate of spaghetti. This is his weapon of choice. That and mercy, which isn't a weapon at all. He has come to oodle you with the noodles... Or rather... he has come to oodle Sans with the noodles...

"WHERE IS SANS?" Papyrus says, looking about the bedroom. "INTRUDER, HAVE YOU SEEN MY BROTHER? IT IS DINNERTIME AND HE HAS NOT. CLEANED. HIS. ROOM. YET." 

You have no tears left to cry. Your boobs are shriveling... you are so cold without sans to hold you. "He went through so many resets," you sob. "So many... only to die like this..." 

Papyrus does not understand anything as usual. "WHAT IS 'DIE?' DO YOU MEAN SUPER-FUN VACATIONS AT THE MTT RESORT? OR DO YOU MEAN MULTIPLE DICE?"

It is too much. "NO!" You wail, your mind breaking in half. "SANS IS GONE. YOU ARE STEPPING IN THE CORPSE OF YOUR BROTHER AND MY TRUE LOVE, AND ALSO IN THE REMAINS OF OUR PASSIONATE LOVE-MAKING."

Papyrus gasps. "YOU KILLED MY BROTHER..." A continuous stream of tears begins dripping from one of his eye-sockets. The other eye begins glowing orange for some reason. With righteous anger, he puts on Sans' jacket, even though he can't pull it up past his elbows. "HAVE YOU COMMITTED A GENOCIDE, HUMAN?" He sobs, summoning a huge bone, and begins to beat you to death with it. "AND TO THINK I BELIEVED IN YOU, Y/N..." he says, and his angst rivals the Sans himself... not that Papyru could ever possibly match the sheer awesomeness of your Snaster-Snooze, your ketchup-bun, your punny lover. Oh the pet-names you'll never get to use! 

Papyrus smothers you with his spaghetti of of justice, then wraps it around your neck, choking you to death. This is how you will die now, this you know. It tastes like failure, because everything Papyrus does is a failure. You deserve it though. You know this in your heart, which has been ripped in two. And as you fade into the darkness, you reach out, knowing that you will soon see Sans, your one true love, once again.. 

THE END... Or is it...


End file.
